A few months ago I had a sort of emotional epiphany. Emotions that I’d never experienced and a greater overall emotional awareness happened. There were a couple of very positive things that might have triggered this but much of its origins remains a mystery. I thought I’d share a few of the consequences, good and bad, that have come from this recent emotional awakening.
Tears are beautiful. The last time I can remember truly crying, was when my grandmother died. Her death was sudden and rather unexpected; in the blink of an eye I had lost one of my closest friends and family members. I sobbed for a while outside of the emergency room where she had been rushed after suffering a brain aneurism. Since that day, tears had been notably absent from my eyes. I could get choked up at an intense movie or a heart wrenching story but tears never seemed to come. I don’t remember what story I was reading or what movie I had been watching, a few months ago, that I realized that I was shedding tears once again. The emotional barrier that had been erected in my life, impenetrable to everything except the greatest pain of loss, had begun to fall. For the last three months I’ve enjoyed this new found ability to express powerful emotion.Tears come more easily now, prompted either from reading a powerfully beautiful book like Gilead, or from a shocking and traumatic story like the recent school shooting. I’m glad for their presence because they mean that my body and my heart are on the same page and my deeper emotions can find relief physically as well as verbally.
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